You know you are a spoonie if…

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  1. Hand sanitizer, baby wipes, and disinfectant spray can all be found in your home, car, and purse. And now count as beauty supplies.
  2. The “rate your pain” scale on doctor visit sheets do absolutely nothing. My pain cannot be described in a single number… and if it did, it would always be 10. I have a chronic illness.
  3. You now feel a part of the bloodhound dog species because you smell every single smell to the 10th power. And your nose is like, turn down for what?!
  4. The pharmacist knows your entire government name but wants you to feel better by allowing you to introduce yourself every time you pick your meds up.
  5. People at your job actually use vacation time for vacation–you are forced to use it for doctor and emergency room visits. 
  6. Your friend complains about their allergies almost daily and you have to bite your tongue.
  7. Your nightstand has all of the sick day necessities. At all times. Everyday. That’s just part of the decoration of your room now.
  8. Your significant other gives you a back rub not because it’s sexy and romantic, but because your fibromyalgia is overbearing and you can’t get comfortable on the couch.
  9. Taking shopping breaks is a must. Food court, bench… nice to see y’all again!
  10. No grocery store trip is complete without hearing someone yell, “hey, you know you parked in a handicap spot, right?”
  11. Lounge clothes are more appealing on the rack than a club outfit now. You can never have enough socks and hair bonnets.
  12. You have become your family’s go-to therapist for everyone’s biggest life issues. It’s ok though, it makes me feel like Yoda, which is kinda cool.
  13. Hearing, “well you look so good, though!” is also something you hear often, unfortunately. (Ignorance, away from me! Thanks.)
  14. When you are on prednisone, everyone assumes you just randomly gained a whole bunch of weight because you are ‘stressed’.
  15. Seeing a commercial about a new medication and having someone in the room ask, “Have you tried that yet?”
  16. Zoning out during a conversation just comes with the territory if you are ever granted the opportunity to speak to me. Deal with it.
  17. You have an abundance of urge and inspiration to do activities not in your pre-illness regimen. Like, you want to go hiking now and paint a portrait. At the same time.
  18. You have a mental go-to list of responses for all questions illness related.
  19. Your newfound ability to vocalize your crass and inappropriate, sarcastic sense of humor is frowned upon. But you really don’t care.
  20. You feel part of a secret, special online club with your fellow spoonie friends. One that your real-life friends will never get to join..oh, lucky them.
  21. When you’re having a rough day, everyone must know. If not by your words, then by your actions. Leave me alone everyone, I’m dying right now dammit.
  22. You get way too excited whenever someone asks how you are feeling. Why, thank you for checking on me. I’m dying and feel like I’m a crazy old lady, let me tell you.
  23. You love makeup and dressing up but are forced to take breaks because your arms start hurting and your light-headedness gets the best of you, every single time.
  24. You know what spoonie means.

#prettysickchick

follow me @DevriVelazquez 

 

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